I recently had one of those days when you feel you’re just
invisible to your loved ones. Some days we just feel unappreciated. Like our
feelings don’t matter. Women will feel this more, because more often than not
we are the ones who end up doing most of the housework and a million other
things anyway. It just ‘falls upon’ us, somehow. Even in homes where chores are
delegated and the kids (grudgingly?) chip in to reduce the workload of the
woman of the house, the woman still does a major chunk of the stuff that makes
a ‘house’, a ‘HOME’. And Some days, we just want to sit and sigh about it.
A few days ago when I was caught up between wallowing in self pity and self loathing (ALL of us are entitled to a little ‘me’ time, aren’t we J), I thought about myKindness Project and it suddenly occurred to me, I completely forgot to share the importance of being kind to OURSELVES. How come most of us place ourselves last in our list of people to care for, do things for? Think of it for a bit. Are you kind to yourself?
I am going to begin with SLOWING DOWN. Have you, like I had,
forgotten to sit down with a cup of tea and relax, spend a little quiet time
with yourself? Go back to doing one thing at a time. When I felt overwhelmed the other day, I sat down
and had a good cry. Guys should try it too, its great detox! Then I decided to
do whatever it takes for me to feel better, because really, only you can fix
whatever is bothering you. Even if it may be about someone else’s behaviour
with you, only you can fix it by either deciding to not let it bother you or by
saying something.
I decided to stop doing more than 3 things at a time or in
quick succession, like I need to tick them off my mental checklist. I decided
to let a few chores be postponed to be dealt with whenever I felt at ease. You
really should try doing this someday -
break away from your routine ‘duties’ or schedule and spend a day
slowing down. Reconnect with an old hobby. Put your feet up and read a good
book. Take a well deserved break and rejuvenate, mentally and physically. Remember
though, this is completely different from spending quality time with kids or
your spouse. Think of this as spending quality time with yourself.
When you do this, a simple truth will become very clear to
you. You’ll wonder why you didn’t see it before. You’ll see that people started
taking you for granted AFTER you started taking yourself for granted. You’ll
see that YOU are most unkind to yourself. More unkind and inconsiderate to
yourself than anyone else is. It all started with the way you treat yourself.
So really, if you want others to be more considerate of your feelings, first
you need to be more considerate to yourself. You need to go easy on yourself
and throw away your yardstick by which you measure yourself against your idea
of ‘an ideal husband/wife/parent/spouse/friend’ and the many other roles you
play in your life.
At the end of the day, when youre feeling much better,
resolve to treat yourself with kindness everyday. You can go back to being
supermom, superdad and everything else tomorrow. But tomorrow after you wake
up, lie awake in the bed for a few minutes and take a few deep breaths. Remind yourself that you can only be the
best of everything if you take good care of yourself. Do not resent anyone
for not caring about your more than you care about yourself. Remember to BE
KIND TO YOURSELF. During the day, remind yourself to do atleast one thing lovingly
for yourself. It could be something as simple as enjoying a leisurely meal,
taking the time to savor each bite or spending a little extra time in prayer. Get
a nice haircut maybe. Are you forever on a diet? I cant think of a more unkind
thing you could do to yourself! Or just watch the sunset. Spending quiet ‘me’ time
with nature is like being hugged by your mother. Mother Nature will tell you
how much you’ve been missed and that its nice to reconnect with you after so
long. You know that lovely serene feeling you get if you really observe the
wonders of nature? That’s just her welcoming you back into her embrace..like
coming back to mom’s home where your siblings are already enjoying their day. Do anything that makes you feel better.
Remember not to beat yourself up about silly things. Remember that it is OK to
leave a few chores for tomorrow.
Remember to be kind to yourself, everyday.
Happy Women’s Day to you/ the awesome women in your life.
Lots of love, happiness and peace to you and your loved
ones!
Liked this? Maybe you'll enjoy reading Appreciation - the easiest way to practise kindness
Liked this? Maybe you'll enjoy reading Appreciation - the easiest way to practise kindness
Sangeeta iam a silent reader to all of your blog entries..really Appreciate your work dear :)
ReplyDeleteHi! How wonderful that you took the time to write this message to me, It really means a lot because sometimes I wonder if I'm just writing things that vanish into cyberspace! Please dont be silent, I'd be grateful to hear feedback, good as well as bad. It would encourage me a lot.Thankyou once again!
Delete